It's a Mostly Adequate Life, Part 1
Give me an update on the company's performance.
Holiday sales are much slower than anticipated. If something doesn't change, we'll have to reduce our workforce by 84%.
Our most popular online services have been down for 3 days. We have yet to diagnose the cause of the crash.
Uncertainty over our ability to perform in the 4th quarter has caused our stock price to plummet. We've lost over $400 million in valuation.
And that toad has been trying to lure away our best employees with promises of huge bonuses.
Wow. I'm sorry I asked.
Everything's gone wrong! I'm a failure! I wish I'd never started this company! I should just shut it all down.
No, you don't mean that!
What? Who's there?
I'm your Guardian Angle!
Published Monday, 12 December 2016