Amphibian.com

Give me an update on the company's performance.

Holiday sales are much slower than anticipated. If something doesn't change, we'll have to reduce our workforce by 84%.

Our most popular online services have been down for 3 days. We have yet to diagnose the cause of the crash.

Uncertainty over our ability to perform in the 4th quarter has caused our stock price to plummet. We've lost over $400 million in valuation.

And that toad has been trying to lure away our best employees with promises of huge bonuses.

Wow. I'm sorry I asked.

Everything's gone wrong! I'm a failure! I wish I'd never started this company! I should just shut it all down.

No, you don't mean that!

What? Who's there?

I'm your Guardian Angle!

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