Grabbing frogs...

The Scientist's Tale

Thine tale was tolde wel, and yts moral was fine, but pyck not the wynner til thou hearest mine.


Once lived ther a frogge who didst toilen in code,
But over his life allowed his skyls to erode.


Frende, I fear thine employmant has come to an ende.

His bos came to seke him one nyght and saede


Whyle thine werk yn the Java ys neer to perfective, all code I neede now ys the C that's Objective.


He saught a new job, but fonde nothyng goode.
Yf he hadst only known, change thyngs he woude.


Then he maad up a planne to kepe his skils pryme.
He woude bilde a machine to go backe yn tyme...


Listen to me! Here ys what thee must study!

...find his yonger self and say to him, "Buddy!"


But consider, goode folk, what happens when he
doth changeth his past so his present not be.


His sceme myght have werked, yt was ful of worthe,
But maad he a paradox which destroyed the hol Earthe.


And that ys the lesson. Time ner ever be duped. Cause and Effect must not ende up looped.

Translation: A frog finds that his coding skills are no longer in demand. He travels back in time to instruct his younger self on what to learn in order to remain relevant. In doing so, he eliminates the situation which caused him to build the time machine in the first place. Disaster ensues.

Causal loops, man. Those things are bad news. But cheer up, Business Frog tells his tale on Monday!

I didn't write this while sitting in a coffee shop.

Published Friday, 24 April 2015

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